Ryan,
I AM no longer a "minor child," and have a lot of money that I myself
can bring to the table; about 40% right NOW, actually, and I am applying
for every scholarship I can get my hands on.

If you ever had any doubt I am more proud of you than I can express
in words or deeds. I hope you agree that we haven't treated you as
a "minor child" for some time.

I would strongly urge you not to take my mother to court on the issues
that have arisen.
Going to court will solve nothing; it will, however, spend money that
would otherwise be spent on my college education, especially in my
mother's case. Any legal fees she has to pay will reduce the realistic
amount she will be able to contribute to me. My mom has promised that
she will pay what she can - that is good enough for me. And, if I am, as
Dee says, the most important person in this process, my trust in her
should be enough to make this whole fiasco irrelevant. This move would
be wasteful, stressful (something Dee said she lost sleep over causing)
and in no way helpful to anyone. So let's be adult about this, and
trust one another. I trust that my mom AND you will provide what they
CAN. You should trust me to provide what I can. The point of this, to
be blunt and selfish, is to get me through college without debt. This
very expensive proposition will hurt everyone, and most likely make the
ultimate goal impossible.

We don't think that going to court would be worth the pain and
anguish and might not improve the situation in net dollars. We've
said this to you in the past. Both sides would expend considerable
capital. Consider also that the court is unlikely to act until one
party has failed to meet an obligation.

Your mom has promised me to pay what she can as well. She will
receive ~$14,700 in child support during the time that you would be
at college each year. This neglects to include any expectation of
proceeds from savings she may have made over the last 12+ years from
portions of the ~$20k of child support she has received annually. I
have proposed that she commit to room, board, and books/materials
which total $9500 (this year) exclusive of books/materials. If she
chooses to contribute substantially less than this it would mean
that your child support payments were subsidizing her lifestyle, a
purpose for which they were never meant.
~dad

Hi Ryan,

I just want to reiterate, because although your dad and I discussed it,
it wasn't in his e-mail to you. Your college education will get paid
for. We are just trying to prevent you having any loans from the last
year because we feel that shouldn't be necessary in this case. We said
that before and it hasn't changed.

You should see the snow coming down here! We are snowed in and not
complaining.
~dee

Dad and Dee,
I appreciate your attempts to help me understand the situation, and to try to empower me to make adult decisions.
However, your giving me this information after I have asked for you to stop is not right. There may be something I can do to influence the two of you; however, my mother will do what she can, and me or you badgering her is going to change nothing. Thus, you telling me these things, possibly causing me to think horrible things about my mother, and then possibly yourselves, is totally pointless and actually is counterproductive.
The way I can help ensure that I have no loans coming out of college is simple, and has nothing to do with either you, or my mom. I can apply for scholarships, and keep my GPA at a 3.5. This is how I am going to take charge of my college financing. I have literally no real control over monies in either your control or my mother’s. I trust that BOTH parties will do what they can, I will reiterate, and THAT IS ENOUGH FOR ME.
PLEASE stop these emails. If you really lost sleep over causing me stress over these issues, Dee, then stop doing it.
Yours,
Ryan

Ryan,
Sorry, just want you to stop worrying and be happy.
~dee

Ryan,
I want you to know that the most important thing you do each day is your
best. I'm not quoting a feelgood seminar, I mean it. I expect your
best, no more and no less. If things with one scholarship or another
don't work out, its not the end of the world. Many students stress
their way through college, worrying that their parents will be
disappointed, etc. I'm not of those parents and don't want the 3.5 GPA
to be a burden to you. I want you to enjoy the experience, it only
happens once.
~dad

Dad,
And thank you so much for that. The best way for me not to stress about things is not to worry about them. You know, it will be wha it will be. I am not prepared to stress my way through college, but neither am I prepared to pay anything I don't have to. Don't think I'm going to kill myself wit this scholarship thing - it makes me feel better that I can provide something as well alongside what you, Grama, and Mom are going to contribute.
Thanks so much. Really.
Also, I did send Grama an email. I fwded the email my dear uncle sent me to her, and don't believe she never replied. I hope she replies to this one.
You have a good rest of your day.
Love you.
Yours,
#1Son

Ryan,
Did you go to (insert bad word) school today?
~dad

Dad,
I did not, because of the (insert bad word here) snow!
~ryan