Today was a decent day, albeit long. I missed an entry yesterday - flagrant felony!!! Bad me!!!
I've calmed down a little, and am hoping that I will remain such. My school's GSA (of which I am president) needs my energy, as does the Writers' Club's literary magazine, THE ESCAPIST, of which I am coeditor. I need to get my energy and focus back.
But you can never focus when you want, can you? I've spent this entire afternoon and day just farting around - not good, really. I really was hoping classes would get cancelled today because of the weather. They didn't, and I wasn't up for it. Oh well.
I found this little smidgeon of writing on the back of an index card - I con't remember writing it, but it's my handwriting:
With well-oiled cogs the wheel of life turns,
Lubricated,
With the blood of the
Innocent,
Never seeming,
Only living,
Never fearing,
Only dying.
For the sake of a thing called
Peace,
They are sheep,
Herded so,
The Dogs of War penning them
Securely in place with
No hope
Of ever leaving again.
Defenseless
Against more than a physical aggressor and
Lulled
Into delusional complacency
By the legions of consumer colture,
They do not see.
They do not listen,
So they do not hear.
They do not hear,
So they do not know.
They do not know,
So they do not fear.

I think I can call it "Defenseless."
When I was writing it, I was thinking about the American public, who seem too caught up in their next pair of shoes to pay attnetion to politics and the world in general. However, I have come to notice that I was really writing about myself. Consumer culture in this case was embodying another personage: Don Denial. Denial has been a very imporant and costly member of my mental and emotional package for a long time. This time, Denial lulls me into not fearing the dark and inexplicable parts of myself by forcing me to ignore them. Denial is very powerful, and I will edit the Quevedo quote following:
"Poderoso caballero es don Negacion," or Lord Denial is a powerful knight. The quote fits rather ironically into my poem about consumer culture, since the original quote said, "Poderoso caballero es don Dinero," or Money is a powerful knight.
So I think I could also call it El Poderoso Caballero. It means the same to me as anyone reading it objectively.


NONE OTHER THAN ME
I can't see,
The dark cloud,
I can't feel the edges of
The shroud,
Thrown now over my eyes.

So dark!
So hopeless!

There is no crack of light from
The outside,
Just the bear of a drum,
That I recognize to be my heart.
My envelopment is completed.
I bemoan my state thus
Improsoned and defeated,
And cry all the harder when
I deduce, tearfully,
That he who put me here,
Was none other than me.